Counselling in Comox & Courtenay

Adoption Counselling in Comox & Courtenay

Adoption isn’t a single event—it’s a lifelong story that touches identity, attachment, grief, belonging, and love. Whether you’re an adoptee, an adoptive parent, or a birth parent, you deserve someone who doesn’t need the complicated parts explained.

Whichever side of the adoption story you’re living, does this sound familiar?

Adoption holds more than one truth at a time, and that’s exactly what makes it hard to talk about. Maybe you recognize yourself somewhere in here:

You love your family deeply and still wonder about the one you were born into—and you’re tired of feeling like those two truths can’t coexist.
People tell you how lucky or grateful you should feel, when what you actually feel is more complicated than that.
As an adoptive parent, attachment is harder than the books promised—and there’s nowhere you feel safe admitting it.
Your child is facing questions and looks you never had to navigate, and you’re parenting across a racial or cultural line you didn’t grow up on.
As a birth parent, you’re carrying a grief and a love that no one ever asks about.
Search and reunion—or even the thought of it—stirs up hope, dread, and loyalty binds all at once.
Certain birthdays, anniversaries, or school family-tree projects land harder than anyone around you understands.

How counselling can help

Finding a counsellor who truly “gets” adoption can be rare. My own family was built through both adoption and IVF, so I come to this work as an adoptive parent as well as a counsellor. You won’t have to explain why this matters, defend your feelings, or brace for a blank look. We can skip straight to what’s true for you.

My approach is grounded in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy—a natural fit for adoption, where so much of the story lives in questions of connection, separation, and belonging. For adoptees, that might mean making room for grief about relinquishment alongside love for your family, or exploring who you are when parts of your beginning are missing or layered. For adoptive parents, it might mean honest support through the waiting, the home study, attachment struggles, or the moments parenting feels harder than you expected. For birth parents, it’s a place where your loss is finally spoken aloud and honoured.

I also bring specific care to transracial adoption—something my own family knows from the inside. Identity, race, and belonging deserve honest conversation, not tiptoeing, and my anti-racism training and community work inform how we’ll hold those conversations together.

What we might work on together

Adoption is not one-size-fits-all, and neither is counselling. Depending on where you sit in the story, we might focus on:

Identity and belonging—making sense of who you are with all the pieces of your story, known and unknown.
The layered grief of relinquishment, for adoptees and birth parents alike—even inside a “good” adoption story.
Attachment and connection at home—including the seasons where bonding feels effortful rather than instant.
Navigating openness—birth family relationships, disclosure conversations, and questions that evolve as children grow.
Transracial and transcultural family life—racial identity, belonging, and responding to the world’s questions and assumptions.
Search and reunion—preparing for it, recovering from it, or deciding whether it’s right for you at all.

Questions people often bring

My adoption story is a positive one. Is counselling still for me?

Yes. Love and loss can live in the same story, and gratitude doesn’t cancel out grief, questions, or curiosity about where you come from. You don’t need to feel “grateful enough” or “okay with it” to seek support. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s allowed in the room.

Do you work with adopted children and teens?

I work with individuals aged 10 and up, which includes many adopted tweens and teens navigating identity, belonging, and big feelings they can’t always name. Sessions move at a pace that feels safe for them, and I keep parents in the loop in a way that respects the young person’s trust.

Do you understand transracial adoption?

Yes—this is close to home for me, personally and professionally. I’ve completed anti-racism response training, I co-chair a local anti-racism committee, and I understand the particular questions of identity and belonging that transracial adoption raises for both adoptees and parents. We can talk about race honestly here.

How do I book, and is the consultation really free?

Yes—your first consultation is free. It’s a short, low-pressure conversation to see whether I feel like the right fit before you commit to anything. You can book online through Comox Valley Counselling’s booking page in a couple of minutes.

Can we meet virtually if getting to Courtenay is hard?

Absolutely. I offer sessions in person at Comox Valley Counselling in Courtenay, and virtually or by phone anywhere in BC—which many busy parents, and adoptees living farther afield, find easier to sustain.

You don’t have to explain why this matters. I already know.

Wherever adoption has placed you in the story—adoptee, parent, or birth parent—I’d be honoured to walk alongside you as you make sense of it.

Book your free consultation

In person in Courtenay · virtual & phone across BC · individuals aged 10+