Counselling in the Comox Valley
Grief Counselling in the Comox Valley
Grief changes the shape of ordinary days. Maybe you’ve lost someone you love, or maybe you’re carrying a loss the world doesn’t quite recognize—a pregnancy, a relationship, a future you’d already imagined. Whatever you’re carrying, you don’t have to carry it alone.
If grief has changed the shape of your days
Grief rarely looks the way we’re told it should. It doesn’t move in tidy stages, and it doesn’t keep to anyone’s schedule. More often, it lives in moments like these:
- You’re fine at the grocery store, and then a song or a smell undoes you completely.
- You reach for your phone to call them before you remember.
- Everyone else seems to have gone back to normal, and you’re quietly furious that the world kept moving.
- You grieve something others don’t see as a loss—a pregnancy that ended, a parent you’ve had to step away from, a beloved pet—so you grieve it mostly in private.
- You’re mourning someone who is still alive—a loved one changed by illness or dementia, a relationship that exists in name only.
- You feel guilty on the good days, as if a lighter moment means you loved them less.
- You’re not even sure what you feel—just that life is different than it used to be, and heavier.
How counselling can help
Let me say first what grief counselling with me is not. It’s not five stages to move through in order. It’s not a timeline you’re behind on. And it is never about “moving on” from someone or something you loved—because love doesn’t work that way, and neither does grief. Our work isn’t about putting the loss down. It’s about making room to carry it—so that grief can become something you live alongside rather than something that swallows your days.
Grief is, at its heart, an attachment experience: we grieve because we bond. That’s why my work is grounded in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy—approaches that treat your grief not as a problem to be solved but as love with nowhere obvious to go. Together, we’ll make space for all of it: the sadness, the anger, the relief you might feel ashamed of, the memories you want to keep close. Nothing you feel will be too much for this room.
I hold particular care for the griefs that don’t come with casseroles and sympathy cards. My own family’s story—shaped by both adoption and IVF—has taught me how real and how invisible certain losses can be: the ones you carry while the world assumes you’re fine. If your loss has felt unspeakable, or simply unspoken, it will be honoured here.
What we might work on together
There’s no curriculum for grief—we follow yours. Depending on what you need, our work might include:
- Making room for the full range of what you feel—including the feelings you’ve been judging yourself for
- Finding ways to stay connected to who or what you’ve lost, rather than being told to let go
- Grieving losses the world doesn’t recognize—pregnancy loss, estrangement, caregiver grief, pet loss, the future you’d planned
- Navigating the practical weight of loss—the anniversaries, the holidays, the questions people ask
- Tending to the ways grief touches everything else: sleep, work, your body, your closest relationships
- Slowly discovering what life can hold now—without pretending the loss didn’t change you
Questions people often ask
Is my loss “big enough” for grief counselling?
If it’s heavy for you, it’s big enough. Grief doesn’t only follow a death—it follows miscarriage and pregnancy loss, estrangement, divorce, the loss of a pet, the loss of health, and futures that never got to happen. You don’t need anyone’s permission—least of all mine—to grieve what you’ve lost.
How soon after a loss should I start counselling?
There’s no right timeline—some people come within weeks, others years later when a loss resurfaces in a way they didn’t expect. If you’re wondering whether it’s too soon or too late, it’s probably a good time to talk. We’ll start wherever you are.
Will you make me talk about it before I’m ready?
No. You set the pace, always. Some sessions we might sit with the hardest parts; others we might talk around the edges until it feels safe to come closer. There’s no script you have to follow and nothing you’re required to relive.
What is a free consultation like?
It’s a short, gentle conversation—a chance to share a little of what’s brought you here and to get a feel for whether I’m the right person to walk alongside you. There’s no obligation to continue. You can book online through Comox Valley Counselling’s booking page.
Can we meet virtually or by phone?
Yes. I see clients in person at Comox Valley Counselling in Courtenay, and virtually or by phone anywhere in British Columbia. On the days when leaving the house feels like too much, a session from your own couch can be a kindness.
Grief is love with nowhere obvious to go. Let’s make room for it.
You don’t have to be ready, articulate, or “over the worst of it” to reach out. If you’re carrying a loss—named or unnamed—I’d be honoured to walk alongside you.
Book your free consultationIn person in Courtenay · virtual & phone across BC · individuals aged 10+