Counselling in the Comox Valley
Relationship Counselling in the Comox Valley
Our relationships shape so much of how life feels—and when they’re strained, everything else feels heavier too. Maybe it’s a partner you can’t seem to reach, a family dynamic that leaves you hollow, or the same painful pattern showing up with different people. You don’t have to untangle it alone.
Does any of this feel familiar?
Relationship pain rarely announces itself clearly. More often it shows up in small, exhausting moments that are hard to explain to anyone else—sometimes even to yourself.
- You replay conversations for days, wondering what you said wrong or what you should have said instead.
- The same argument keeps happening with your partner or a family member—different words each time, same ache underneath.
- You keep finding yourself drawn to people who can’t quite meet you—emotionally distant partners, one-sided friendships.
- Saying no feels dangerous, so you say yes and quietly carry the resentment.
- You feel close to someone right up until they get close to you—then something in you pulls away.
- A relationship has ended, and you’re still turning it over, trying to make sense of what happened.
- Family gatherings leave you feeling like a version of yourself you barely recognize.
How counselling can help
The patterns that hurt the most usually made sense once. Somewhere along the way—often early—we learned what closeness costs, what happens when we need too much, and which parts of ourselves are safest kept hidden. My work is grounded in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy because I believe our relationships—with others and with ourselves—have a profound impact on how we experience the world. Together, we’ll get curious about where your patterns came from, what they’ve been protecting, and what it might look like to relate differently.
This is individual work: I meet with you, one-on-one, about the relationships that matter to you. That might sound like a limitation, but it’s often a gift. You get a space that’s entirely yours—where you can be completely honest about your marriage, your mother, your oldest friend—without managing anyone else’s feelings while you do it. And when one person starts showing up differently, the whole dance tends to change.
I’ve lived enough seasons of life—classrooms, a bakery I ran for more than a decade, a family built through both adoption and IVF—to know that relationships are rarely simple and never one-size-fits-all. There’s no version of your story that would surprise me into judgment. We’ll work at a pace that feels right for you.
What we might work on together
Every person’s relational world is different, so our work will follow what matters most to you. It often includes some of these threads:
- Making sense of your attachment style—how you learned to seek closeness, and what you do when it feels risky
- Understanding the patterns that repeat across partners, family, and friendships—and gently interrupting them
- Finding words for needs you’ve spent years swallowing, and practising asking for them
- Setting boundaries that protect the relationship and you
- Grieving and making meaning after a breakup, divorce, or friendship that ended
- Letting yourself be truly seen by the people you love—which is harder, and braver, than it sounds
Questions people often ask
Do you offer couples counselling?
Not at this time. I work with individuals aged 10 and up, which means relationship counselling with me is one-on-one work about your relationships—with partners, family members, friends, and the patterns that repeat across them. Many people are surprised by how much shifts in a relationship when one person begins to understand their own side of the dance.
Is it worth coming alone if the problem feels like it’s between us?
Yes—often more than people expect. Relationship struggles usually have two sides, but you can only change one of them, and changing your side changes the whole pattern. Individual work gives you room to be completely honest about what’s happening without worrying about how it lands on the other person.
What is a free consultation like?
It’s a short, no-pressure conversation where you can share a little about what’s bringing you in and ask me anything you’d like. It’s a chance to see whether I feel like the right fit for you—because the relationship between us matters more than any technique. You can book it online through Comox Valley Counselling’s booking page.
Can we meet virtually or by phone?
Yes. I offer sessions in person at Comox Valley Counselling in Courtenay, and virtually or by phone anywhere in British Columbia. Many clients find virtual sessions easier to fit into busy family and work lives.
What if I can’t really name what’s wrong in my relationships?
You don’t need a tidy explanation to begin. Sometimes you just know that your closest relationships feel harder than they should, or lonelier than they look from the outside. Naming what’s happening is part of the work we do together—not a ticket you need before you arrive.
The patterns made sense once. You’re allowed to outgrow them.
If your relationships feel heavier than they should, I’d be honoured to walk alongside you while we make sense of them—together, at a pace that feels right for you.
Book your free consultationIn person in Courtenay · virtual & phone across BC · individuals aged 10+