My approach · Counselling in the Comox Valley
Emotionally Focused Therapy in the Comox Valley
If you’ve been researching therapists, you’ve probably run into a wall of acronyms—EFT, EFIT, CBT—without much explanation of what any of it feels like from the client’s chair. This page is my attempt to explain, in plain language, how I work and why.
Why the approach matters
Most people don’t choose a counsellor by modality, and honestly, the relationship between us will matter more than any technique. But the approach shapes what we pay attention to—and I ground my work in attachment theory and Emotionally Focused Therapy because I believe our relationships—with others and with ourselves—have a profound impact on how we experience the world. An attachment lens changes what we notice:
- It treats your struggles as understandable responses to your story—not as flaws or malfunctions to be corrected.
- It looks underneath the anxiety, the anger, or the shutting down to the softer feelings and needs those reactions protect.
- It takes emotions seriously as information, rather than problems to be managed away.
- It pays attention to the patterns you learned early—about closeness, trust, and what happens when you need someone.
- It aims at change that lasts, because it works at the level where the patterns began.
What EFT actually is, in plain language
Emotionally Focused Therapy starts from a simple idea backed by decades of attachment science: human beings are wired for connection, and much of our pain makes sense when we understand it as connection gone wrong—or connection we learned not to expect. Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is one of the most thoroughly researched approaches in counselling. Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) brings that same science into one-on-one work, which is how I practice it—with individuals aged 10 and up, not couples sessions.
In practice, it means we don’t stop at managing symptoms. When something keeps hurting—a temper that flares, a worry that won’t quiet, a numbness you can’t explain—we get curious about what it’s protecting. Underneath most “problem” feelings there’s usually something softer: a fear of being too much or not enough, a longing to matter, an old lesson about what happens when you let someone close. EFT gives us a way to reach those places safely, feel them without being overwhelmed by them, and let them change.
And because every person is unique, EFT is my foundation rather than my whole toolbox. I thoughtfully integrate person-centred, cognitive behavioural (CBT), solution-focused, and strengths-based approaches around it—so if what you need in a given season is practical tools, structured problem-solving, or simply a steady place to be heard, our work can hold that too.
What an EFT session feels like
Less like being analyzed, more like being accompanied. There’s no couch-and-clipboard distance, and no worksheet waiting when you walk in. A session with me tends to include:
- Slowing down—making room for what you actually feel, not just the version of events you’ve rehearsed
- Getting curious together about your reactions and patterns, with compassion instead of judgment
- Noticing what happens in the moment—the catch in your voice, the urge to change the subject—because that’s often where the real work lives
- Putting words to feelings that have been wordless for a long time, and finding they make sense
- Going at your pace—you will never be pushed somewhere you’re not ready to go
Questions people often ask
Is EFT only for couples?
No. EFT began in couples work, but Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) applies the same attachment science to one-on-one counselling. I work with individuals aged 10 and up—so with me, EFT means individual sessions about your emotional world and your relationships, not couples sessions.
Is Emotionally Focused Therapy evidence-based?
Yes—EFT is one of the most thoroughly researched approaches in therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and grounded in decades of attachment science. That research matters to me, but so does this: the approach only works inside a relationship where you feel genuinely safe and understood, and that’s what we build first.
Will every session be intensely emotional?
No. “Emotionally focused” means emotions are welcome and taken seriously—not that you’ll be pushed into them. We go at a pace that feels right for you, and some of the most important sessions are quiet ones. You’ll never be forced anywhere you’re not ready to go.
What if EFT isn’t the right fit for me?
Then we adapt—you’re not being fitted to a method. Alongside EFT I integrate person-centred, cognitive behavioural, solution-focused, and strengths-based approaches, so our work is shaped around what you need. The free consultation is a good place to talk about what might suit you.
How do I get started?
Book a free consultation through Comox Valley Counselling’s online booking page. It’s a short, no-pressure conversation to see whether we’re a good fit. Sessions are available in person in Courtenay, or virtually and by phone across BC.
The approach matters. The person walking alongside you matters more.
The best way to know whether EFT—and whether I—might be right for you is a conversation, not a webpage. I’d be glad to have one with you.
Book your free consultationIn person in Courtenay · virtual & phone across BC · individuals aged 10+